CinemaStickler Reviews: Jurassic World (Spoilers)

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If you haven’t watched Jurassic World yet, you should probably stop reading this and go check out my spoiler-free review right here:  http://bit.ly/1FS46N9.  If you already have seen it, you should still probably go check it out so you can see what I am basing a lot of my points on (I don’t want to write a 1000 word review restating what I just wrote, haha).  Now that we have that taken care of and know what I am going off of, let’s look at some of the things that made Jurassic World a good, but not great, movie.

Like I mentioned in the spoiler-free review, the visuals were pretty great.  The only real issue I noticed was when the Apatosaurus (the first dying dinosaur that Owen and Claire ran into after losing the kids) looked so fake laying there it actually hurt.  It was clear that Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas-Howard were not acting with that thing in front of them because they just seemed a little off.  The dialogue was strange and their hand movements seemed kind of all over the place.  While it didn’t revolutionize cinema like the original movie (and you can never expect a movie to do that for you), Jurassic World was still pretty solid cinematically.

Acting wise, the big sore-thumbs that stuck out to me were Hoskins (Vincent D’Onofrio) and the two kids.

Hoskins was the military guy who was trying to weaponize the raptors.  It was pretty obvious from the start that he was going to die via raptor.  It was such a waste of D’Onofrio’s talent because he was just so cliche and one-sided.  While his death was satisfying, it didn’t leave as big of an impact because we all knew it was happening 10 seconds after we met him.

The kids were pretty annoying too.  Like each of the three Jurassic Park movies, kids have to be some of the main characters to add to scare factor.  I am sorry, but there is no way those two are surviving this.  They had multiple run-ins with the Indominus Rex and lived to tell the tale.  Also, I am sorry but a high schooler and middle schooler cannot hot wire a 1990s jeep that is filled with moss and rust.  Even if they did all of that, they should have been scooped up by the Pterodactyls when they were driving to the gate.  This is probably the only movie where I wanted the kids to die. There have been far worse child actors, but they were just so annoying.

I did appreciate the references to the original movie, but they felt a little forced at some points.  Yes, we get it, the first movie was really good and changed movies forever.  Thanks for the reminder

As far as plot holes go, there were a few that stuck out to me.  I am just going to kind of list them and not go too in-depth with all of it:

-How could the Indominus Rex have created all of those scratch marks on the wall without any hearing or noticing if it’s under 24/7 watch?

-I am sorry but pouring a little bit of gasoline on yourself does not prevent an animal with thermal vision from seeing you.

-While it is not as much a plot hole, I hate how Owen stopped to kiss Claire after she saved him.  There are still plenty of Pterodactyls flying around killing people.  It’s like Man of Steel all over again (yes, you think you stopped Zod, don’t stop and kiss Lois Lane, go save the literal hundreds of thousands of people trapped beneath bone-crushing rubble).

-In the first movie, we hear that the T-Rex can run 32 miles per hour.  It would have eaten Claire and the flare before she was able to draw its attention to the Indominus.

-Using the same logic as earlier in the movie, the Indominus should have been able to roar at the raptors and have them attack Owen, Claire, and the kids again.

-The biologist mentioned that the Indominus Rex had T-Rex DNA, which means it should have been able to roar at the T-Rex in that last scene and turned it against the people.

-There were also a few scenes where it would be dark going into a certain scene and light slightly afterwards when they left.  I don’t think the sky changed that much in the few minutes you were in there.

 

Okay, despite all of that, I actually really enjoyed the movie (a lot of the positive stuff was in the spoiler-free version).  It is tough because in today’s movie age there is no middle ground.  You are expected to love a movie or hate it.  Instead, I am pretty set in the middle.  I did like it a lot more than disliking it, however, I acknowledge there there are flaws. Jurassic World was the best of the Jurassic Park sequels.  You should definitely go and watch it – just don’t expect the moon and the sun.

 

What did you think of Jurassic World?  Did I miss something you picked up on?  Make sure to comment and let me know.

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